Hello!!! I said I would write something in June but I didn’t so you all get to read about me a month later. I don’t think there’s someone who reads all my blog entries but if there is please say it in my guestbook!!!!
I don’t really want to talk about my birthday right now but it was really great it’s just that more impactful things have happened recently.
In June 29 I was alone at home and everything was ok until I started hearing noises from below (or so I thought) They were noises of chairs moving, glassware touching, doors opening and closing and many other noises. Although the chairs moving were the constant noise. And what did my brain thought of those noises? That there was someone inside my house! Nobody was in my house and I knew that but there was still the possibility that left me paralyzed. And so I spent hours locked up in my room trying to do the minimum noise.
I would like to be less controlled by fear. I can’t even be sure if the noises were really there or my brain imagined them from something it heard.
I often feel very intense feelings about my friends. Gratitude, adoration, and probably more feelings but I can’t name them yet (I am working on knowing more emotions so I can describe my feelings as something more than “it feels bad” or “it feels good”) but my feelings for my friends can all fall under the category of love. Now there is one friend that I would say my feelings fall under what most people consider to be a romantic type of love, but really the only difference is that I do feel the desire to kiss her and y know be formally on a relationship. (I would kiss my friends who I feel friendship love towards but it’s not a constant desire)
I’ve recently been afraid of losing my friends because I won’t see them daily as I’m going to a new school and I’ve never gone out with friends. I’m afraid of not experiencing the love I feel for them in a long time. It can’t be forever as I will surely find someone to be interested in or that finds me interesting, but how long will that be? And people aren’t replaceable. Sure I can find someone who makes me have similar feelings but it’s not an exact replacement.
In july 6 I experienced the most profound yet brief friendship I’ve had in all my life.
It was the kind of friendship that I thought was only possible in fiction.
The person I met was Tony. I approached him and we instantly had a connection I think. He has all the characteristics that I think would make for a great friend. He talks a lot, is very expressive, is friendly to everyone, likes videogames and animation, talks in detail about what he likes, talks fluent English, is very smart, and he likes Toby Fox!!!!! I genuinely questioned if I was dreaming, if what was happening was real, and I still doubt that it was real. He’s like the perfect friend I’ve been waiting for all my life. We also share a favorite food! It’s tamales. Tamales are my second favorite food next to pasta!!! I always get disappointed when my friends aren’t as enthusiastic as I am or are too quiet or have boring conversations, but that didn’t happen with him!!! Just minutes before I met him I was stressed trying to appear normal, wondering what I could do to seem normal because a classmate from my older school told people who didn’t knew me that I was weird, I wasn’t even given a chance to not be noticed, but when I talked to Tony I knew that I wouldn’t have to do that. If my two options were to appear normal and be lonely and sad anyways or be weird but happy and with another friend who is also weird then I choose to be with someone who is weird. Us weirdos have to stick together don’t we?
Never before have I’ve had a friendship that gave me so much happiness.
Now where I say it was brief it’s because I gave him my discord but he hasn’t added me. I hope I see him again and that he was real and not just something my mind created to give me some comfort. I thankfully haven’t hallucinated before but I live in fear of the possibility of it happening.
I started watching Sherlock (the bbc show) and I think I like it? Not completely but it’s fun to watch. I’ve only watched the first two episodes. I think Sherlock is a bit too serious. I like John. Found the “you miss war” thing interesting but in episode 2 John wasn’t too interesting??? Idk it felt like he was just there for most of the episode. The first episode felt like it was longer that it should’ve been. Buuutt I also started watching another modern adaptation that I liked a lot more. Miss Sherlock. It definitely took a lot of inspiration from Sherlock but I’m liking it a lot more. I think it’s helps that the episodes are 40 minutes which I think it’s the perfect length for an episode of a show. And even if it also shows Mycroft in the first episode I think it was better executed than in Sherlock. I think it was cute that it was Mycroft’s idea for Wato to stay with Sherlock. I like the theme song. Where I could really see the Sherlock inspiration was in their apartment, the design is similar, both mrs Hudsons are really similar, Mycroft was introduced in the first episode. I’m in the third episode of miss Sherlock but I’m definitely enjoying it more that Sherlock.
My top 3 sherlock holmes modern adaptations right now are:
Anyways thanks for reading!!!! Good byeee
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